A User-Friendly Manual For SHERLOCK Bot (Mk2)
by Godtiss Ltd
Summary: Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of our all-new SHERLOCK Bot, Mk2! Please follow the instructions in this manual, to provide you, your family and your friends with hours of SHERLOCK bot fun.


**A User-Friendly Manual for**

**SHERLOCK Bot (Mk2)**

**Copyright Godtiss Ltd.**

**Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of our all-new SHERLOCK Bot, Mk2! Please follow the instructions in this manual, to provide you, your family and your friends with hours of SHERLOCK bot fun.**

**Specifications:**

**Form:** Human

**Gender: **Male

**Height:** Shorter than expected. (NOTE: An illusion of height may come from the acquisition of a JOHN bot.)

**Weight: **approx. 140 lbs. (Weight may vary with length of habitual fasting.)

**Length:** Data suppressed.

**Accessories:**

1 Large Coat. Your SHERLOCK bot will be very attached to this item, and it should on no account be removed.

1 Scarf. See above.

1 Deerstalker. For party or press.

1 Magnifying Glass.

1 Violin

1 Large Chemistry Set – may contain flammable and/or corrosive materials. Keep out of reach of children.

**Operating instructions:** SHERLOCK bot Mk2 is voice-activated, but preferences may be set by activating our handy drop-down menu located on the back panel. Great care should be taken with the SHERLOCK bot Mk2, as it has the tendency to ignore all orders. In a desperate situation, it is advised that the owner threaten the JOHN bot, upon which the SHERLOCK bot will retreat into PROTECTIVE FLATMATE mode, and may be captured without injury.

**Settings: **

BASIC PUZZLE-SOLVING MODE

Serial suicides? Bad Samaritan bombings? Monstrous hounds? A flatmate with a mysterious middle name? Your SHERLOCK bot will utilise his dazzling analytical problem-solving skills, his cold logic and blatant disregard for laws (and possibly his high-ranking, string-pulling older brother) to get to the truth.

EXPERIMENTING MODE

Does your kitchen feel too impersonal? Want to give it a lived in feel? Your SHERLOCK bot will utilise his prodigious chemistry skills to scorch benches, scratch tables, set fire to curtains and fill your rooms will an overwhelming smell of cigarette smoke, acids and burning eyeballs. (Chemistry set extras may be purchased from Godtiss Ltd. Eyeballs sold separately.)

SURLY MODE

The default setting of your SHERLOCK bot. When not in PUZZLE-SOLVING MODE, your SHERLOCK bot is likely to revert to factory settings, which may be accompanied by incessant talking, use of firearms and general mayhem.

MUSICAL MODE

Bored at a party? Christmas with no music? Wedding song to be performed? Your SHERLOCK bot will rise splendidly to the occasion, with an array of famous or self-composed pieces.

Note: The SHERLOCK bot may be more stimulated in the musical area when deprived of the IRENE bot.

SURPRISINGLY HUMAN MODE

Your SHERLOCK bot is designed to spend the majority of its life in the previous five modes, however, sparing use of the _Surprisingly Human_ mode will promote more enjoyment. Over-use of this setting may become wearing, and your SHERLOCK bot may revert to stereotype/cliché interaction setting.

DANCE MODE

Your SHERLOCK bot will not often enter this mode, but searches for the opportunity to use it.

SPEECH MODE

Despite the SHERLOCK bot's general SURLY mode, when placed into SPEECH mode in the presence of a MARY and JOHN bot, your SHERLOCK bot will sparkle with rare charm and emotional insight. This may be improved with the hire of GENERIC CROWD bots (Wedding style). For extra comedy, the owner may purchase a LESTRADE, MRS HUDSON and MOLLY bot. TOM bots are optional, and should only be used if the owner wishes to stress their SHERLOCK bot's intelligence.

**SHERLOCK BOT TRICKS AND TIPS:**

A SHERLOCK bot is most adept at removing unwanted guests. Simply select the SURLY mode, and add a small CONTEMPT chip to its normal active interface. (SHERLOCK bot comes with 50 1-use Contempt chips, and more may be bought en mass from Godtiss Ltd.) Once in this mode, your SHERLOCK bot may use his POWER OF DEDUCTION* setting to annoy house-guests, intimidate strangers and inspire a feeling of all-round inadequacy. This setting is improved when added to a GENERAL BOREDOM setting, but prolonged use may wear down the owner, and cause the JOHN bot to slip into his ROMANTIC FALIURE setting. (This may be remedied by the purchase of a MARY MORSTAN bot)

To stimulate mental activity, expose your SHERLOCK bot to a JOHN bot set on PRAISE mode, or alternatively, to an IRENE bot set on ALLURING.

**FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:**

**Q: My SHERLOCK bot seems to enjoy the company of my JOHN bot too much. Is my SHERLOCK bot gay?**

**A: **As a general rule, no. However, the Mk2 version of our fabulous SHERLOCK bot will allow you to choose the sexual preferences. Simply select SEXUAL PREFERENCE in the SHERLOCK bot's handy drop-down menu, and set to 'gay'. You may then choose between the following settings: platonic, slash, horny. It is advised that a horny SHERLOCK bot be kept inside and in the company of a slash set JOHN bot.

**WARNING: **When in gay/slash mode, your SHERLOCK bot may display many out of character tendencies, and frequent or prolonged use of this setting when coupled with the gay/slash set JOHN bot, will cause unnecessary stereotypes, clichés and badly described smutty sex. Too much use may warrant a new SHERLOCK bot.

**Q: My SHERLOCK bot keeps nasty and disturbing items in my fridge. Is this normal?**

**A: **Entirely normal. To enjoy the full pleasures of the SHERLOCK bot, with no added mess, it is advised that the customer also purchase a MRS HUDSON bot. The owner must be aware that the MRS HUDSON bot is _not_ a housekeeper.

**Q: My SHERLOCK bot constantly gets into my firearms, and shoots various items. Should I be worried at these violent tendencies?**

**A:** Certainly not, this is merely your SHERLOCK bot's way of telling you that his boredom has risen to dangerous levels. A JOHN and MARY bot may assist in the findings of a distraction. **

**Q: My SHERLOCK bot has replied to all inquiries as to his name with: "My name is… ****_Khan_****." Is this a malfunction?**

**A:** Unfortunately, you seemed to have accidentally purchased a "Kahn Mk2" bot. This bot should be immediately turned off, as it is liable to commit acts of terrorism as revenge. On no account should this bot be in charge of any form of star-ship. (Please be aware that merely shooting a KAHN Mk2 will not have any effect. A SPOCK bot may be used in this case, but will only be effective after the termination of a KIRK bot. It may be simpler to call a _KAHN RESPONSE TEAM_, who keep a store of pre-prepared SPOCK bots free to handle a potentially dangerous situation.)

**Q: My SHERLOCK bot is often mentioning dragons and burglars. Is this normal?**

**A:** To remedy this, simply turn off HOBBIT REFERENCES, in our handy drop-down menu.

**Q: My MARY bot has shot my SHERLOCK bot. What should I do?**

**A:** This is entirely normal, and will only lead to a more emotionally enlightened SHERLOCK bot. For precautions, it is advisable to reboot the bot with assistance from our MYCROFT, MOLLY , ANDERSON, MORIARTY and REDBEARD hallucination chips. This should prevent your SHERLOCK bot from going into shock, and aid in the recovery phase.

**Q: My SHERLOCK bot has died. Am I eligible for a re-fund?**

**A:** You may be, depending on warranty, however, keep in mind that the Mk 2 SHERLOCK bot has a habit of faking deaths, and a period of at least three years should elapse before officially declaring a SHERLOCK bot 'dead'. No matter how shattered their casing is after they tumble from a roof, chances are you will soon meet your SHERLOCK bot, looking good as new again, in a few years. For this reason, we advise that you do not purchase another SHERLOCK bot in the interim period. ***

**GENERAL WARNING:** SHERLOCK bot Mk2 comes with automatic high sarcasm and loftiness settings. Should the owner suddenly find their SHERLOCK bot acting courteously (i.e. apologising, replying politely, offering to do the shopping, etc.) the owner should immediately shut off the SHERLOCK bot, as these symptoms may be a sign of interference from a MORIARTY bot. Ensure that both your SHERLOCK and JOHN bots are kept indoors, as MORIARTY bots are prone to attach explosives to the JOHN bot, which may endanger both your bots. The owner should also be aware that the MORIARTY bot comes with twenty-five standard ASSASSIN bots, with red laser sights.

Similarly, should you or your SHERLOCK bot receive an envelope of breadcrumbs, a copy of Grimm's fairy tales or a burnt gingerbread man, take the aforementioned precautions.

Alternatively, a MYCROFT bot may be used to plan an escape plan for your SHERLOCK bot.

**ON NO ACCOUNT SHOULD THE **MORIARTY **BOT AND THE **SHERLOCK** BOT BE ALLOWED ON A HIGH ROOF TOGETHER.**

**Final note:** Many customers have noted that their stock of milk is more frequently depleted than usual. This is an unfortunate side-effect of ownership of a SHERLOCK bot, and, inexplicable though it may be, it is entirely normal.

**We hope you enjoy many fruitful years of SHERLOCK bot fun, and remember, an active SHERLOCK bot is a happy SHERLOCK bot!**

**Courtesy of Godtiss Ltd.**

* * *

* Simply select this in the drop-down setting menu under GENERAL PUZZLE-SOLVING setting.

**The SHERLOCK bot is not retro-fitted with imagination or boredom-tackling software. Your SHERLOCK bot must be kept occupied at all times. Godtiss Ltd are not responsible for fire or chemical damage sustained to persons or objects as a result of neglect on the owner's behalf.

*** Godtiss Ltd will not return or refund any SHERLOCK bot unwisely bought in a post-fall period.


End file.
